I got to speak to the Mountie this weekend for a new record time – 18 minutes.

However, I think I’ve pinned down what I’m really afraid of while he’s at Depot.

I’m afraid of being left behind.

The Mountie is off having all new experiences and new challenges, while I’m at home living the same life we were before he left. It’s a good life, and I’ll keep it warm for him, but I worry that when he gets back, the gap between us will be too big.

This worry is exacerbated by just how infrequently I get to speak to him. We have lived in separate provinces before, going for as long as three months without seeing each other, but we’ve never had this little contact. Previously, we would be chatting, emailing or texting each other constantly during the day. Now, I’m lucky if I get a single text from him, and calls are every couple of days at best.

I suppose part of this is the fear that he won’t be the same guy when he’s done training – or when he’s been a member for 10 years. I worry that policing will turn him into a different man, one I don’t recognize. Or, that he won’t recognize me from his new frame of reference.

I know he needs to focus on his training, and I honestly don’t begrudge him that at all. I just want to be a part of it (insert annoying whining).