I just got back from my first thrilling visit to Regina. It was great to see the Mountie again, but it was also a very emotionally ass-kicking weekend. There is so much build up to seeing your spouse again that it’s a miracle I didn’t burst into tears as soon as I saw him. You’re hit by two extremes of being so happy to see them and so sad that you can’t just see them all of the time (a little angry about the latter as well).

I’m really struggling with how he’s changing. This seems to be something everyone left out while telling me how difficult it would be to be an RCMP/police wife. I know it will be incredibly hard to send him out on the street and worry about him coming home safely, and I thought the hard part about this stage was just the separation. But it is incredibly difficult and confusing to try to reconcile my perceptions of a police officer with the guy I married. I have the utmost respect for police officers – but how do you joke around with one like I joke around with my husband? With this guy who does silly things to make me laugh and gets on the floor to play with our dog like he’s a dog too?

Things got better as the weekend went on and we fell back into old routines and comfortable silences. I know it’s going to be a long time, but I can’t wait until he’s back in our home, even if it isn’t for long.

Listening to: