Month: March 2016

First Visit, Check

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I just got back from my first thrilling visit to Regina. It was great to see the Mountie again, but it was also a very emotionally ass-kicking weekend. There is so much build up to seeing your spouse again that it’s a miracle I didn’t burst into tears as soon as I saw him. You’re hit by two extremes of being so happy to see them and so sad that you can’t just see them all of the time (a little angry about the latter as well).

I’m really struggling with how he’s changing. This seems to be something everyone left out while telling me how difficult it would be to be an RCMP/police wife. I know it will be incredibly hard to send him out on the street and worry about him coming home safely, and I thought the hard part about this stage was just the separation. But it is incredibly difficult and confusing to try to reconcile my perceptions of a police officer with the guy I married. I have the utmost respect for police officers – but how do you joke around with one like I joke around with my husband? With this guy who does silly things to make me laugh and gets on the floor to play with our dog like he’s a dog too?

Things got better as the weekend went on and we fell back into old routines and comfortable silences. I know it’s going to be a long time, but I can’t wait until he’s back in our home, even if it isn’t for long.

Listening to:

50 Days

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My Mountie has been gone for 50 days now. Good news, I’ll get to see him in less than two weeks. Bad news, he’ll be gone for 189 days (at least). Realizing I have another 139 days to do is pretty depressing.

 

Listening to:

10 Things That Changed When My Husband Went To Depot

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  1. I have to actually watch the expiry dates on eggs. We used to buy two 18-pack cartons every time we got groceries – now, a single 12-egg carton lasts me a month!
  2. I leap across the room when I get a text message.
  3. I discovered just how much dishwashing the Mountie did when he lived here. Washing dishes is the worst.
  4. My dog-mom guilt skyrocketed. My poor little pup doesn’t understand why his stay-at-home pal isn’t here anymore and why I leave him for so long during the day.
  5. I’ve discovered that I hate silence.
  6. My life is now broken down hourly. “3 p.m., drive home, 4 p.m., take dog to the park, 5 p.m., gym, 6 p.m., make dinner…”Also, weekly and daily: “4 more weeks until I visit the Mountie, 25 days until I visit the Mountie…”
  7. I realized just how much I took having my husband around for granted. The pleasure of falling asleep next to the person you love, of having someone there when you get home. Walking the dog together.
  8. The Mountie was responsible for easily 75% of the laundry in our house. It is ridiculous how little laundry I generate myself.
  9. Missing someone can be physically painful. I had forgotten that part.
  10. I’m remembering how self-sufficient I can be, but that doesn’t mean I can’t wait to be back with my Mountie.