Month: February 2016

Ups and Downs

~ mountieandme ~ 1 Comment

If you’re like me, the spot in a workout that is toughest comes right before the halfway point. I like to do fractions in my head during a workout, specifically something like a run where I’m just trying to occupy my brain and distract myself from how much easier it is to lie down.

“You’re one quarter of the way there…just the equivalent of one episode of Scrubs (without commercials) until you hit halfway…”

Other people do this to, right?

Anyways, the toughest spot for me is right before you get to halfway. You’re working so hard and you know you have to do it all over again for the second half stretch. That’s how it is feeling right now. Of course, we’re no where close to the halfway point of Depot overall, but we’re now halfway through the first two months, at the end of which I get to visit my Mountie.

Here’s to the second half (4.5 weeks out of 8.5).

Listening to:

Gaining Momentum

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There’s this thing that happens when you start a new fitness program (and as a person who has started more than I care to share, I’m pretty much an expert). After about 3-4 weeks, you start to actually feel different. A bit stronger, a bit slimmer (if that’s your goal), and a bit more capable. Those first few weeks are really hard because it feels like your efforts aren’t getting you anywhere, then all of the sudden, you start to notice that your pants fit a little better, you’re a bit more flexible, you’re a bit stronger.

I’m finding the Mountie’s time at depot to have a similar pattern. It’s starting to feel more habitual and less flounder-y (scientific term). Even though I’m still five weeks out from visiting the Mountie, as I get up to this halfway point between when he left and when I’ll see him, it starts to feel like I’m heading down the other side of a hill. Like how when you’re going for a run, the second half always feels easier.

Here’s hoping the back stretch goes by quickly.

Listing to:

The First Three Weeks – Advice for a Depot Spouse

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When a new troop comes into depot they are assigned a “big brother” troop – one that has been there for a few weeks already and can show them all of the important things like where the mess hall is and what food is the most delicious (when you work as hard as they do, it’s all about the food).

The Mountie’s troop will become a big brother troop next week, after only three weeks. So I started thinking, what have I learned during this time that I would share with a depot spouse?

Advice for a Depot Spouse (First Three Week’s Edition)

  1. You will not hear from your cadet much.
    As in, maybe a text once a day and a 3 minute phone call on the weekend. This will be tough – really tough – because you will miss them and want to hear from them.
  2. You will feel left out.
    Your spouse will be having this brand new life experience and you won’t. Not only that, but the lack of communication combined with the rules the RCMP has about what cadets can even share with you about depot will make it nearly impossible to understand what their new reality is like. This feeling seems to be amplified by the fact that you’ve continued the life you shared without them – so they will intimately know exactly what you’re doing, and you will know basically nothing about what they’re doing.
  3. Your cadet will be stressed out.
    You will hear it in their voice. They will be distracted during the precious few minutes they are on the phone with you. It will kill you that you can’t help, that you can’t be there to hold them or comfort them.
  4. It will be hard for you too.
    It’s hard to run a life for two by yourself. It’s lonely and frustrating to feel cut off from the person with whom you’ve shared everything up until now. If you’re like me, your house will be far too quiet.
  5. It will get easier.
    Three weeks in, the phone calls are a little longer, the texts a bit more frequent, but most importantly, he sounds more like himself then in the first few weeks. It will still be hard, but you will find a rhythm and a schedule that works for you. You will still look forward to hearing from your cadet, but it will feel less like oxygen and more like a nice surprise.

Hang in there.

Listening to:

Happy Anniversary

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It was our third wedding anniversary yesterday. I was moping at work, as you do when your spouse lives in another province and you’re all aloney-lone for your anniversary, when I got an email telling me to pick up a delivery at the front desk.

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This guy, though.

2 minutes, 35 seconds

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Today I got to speak to the Mountie for a whole 2 minutes and 35 seconds!

It’s definitely better than nothing, but it’s rough. It feels like I’m building up all of these things to tell him and then I get on the phone and just say my day was “fine.”

Which it was. I went to the gym today a little later than I intended so there was a class of 11 year olds watching me do sled pulls. It was cute, they were counting up how much weight I was pulling and seemed very impressed.

Hooray, I impress 11 year olds!

Listening to:

Why My Husband Being At Depot Scares Me

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I got to speak to the Mountie this weekend for a new record time – 18 minutes.

However, I think I’ve pinned down what I’m really afraid of while he’s at Depot.

I’m afraid of being left behind.

The Mountie is off having all new experiences and new challenges, while I’m at home living the same life we were before he left. It’s a good life, and I’ll keep it warm for him, but I worry that when he gets back, the gap between us will be too big.

This worry is exacerbated by just how infrequently I get to speak to him. We have lived in separate provinces before, going for as long as three months without seeing each other, but we’ve never had this little contact. Previously, we would be chatting, emailing or texting each other constantly during the day. Now, I’m lucky if I get a single text from him, and calls are every couple of days at best.

I suppose part of this is the fear that he won’t be the same guy when he’s done training – or when he’s been a member for 10 years. I worry that policing will turn him into a different man, one I don’t recognize. Or, that he won’t recognize me from his new frame of reference.

I know he needs to focus on his training, and I honestly don’t begrudge him that at all. I just want to be a part of it (insert annoying whining).